Saturday, November 01, 2014

Just the Other Day

 
Since we've had you, time has stopped.
 
In my mind.
 
It was just the other day the doctor raised you up and said, "It's a girl!"
 
and when you met your brother and sister
 
I can feel the rhythm of the rocker with your head cradled in my arms while I sing.
 
And I chime in quickly with moms of new babies as we trade stories
 
because
 
All of that was just the other day.
 
But
 
I forget. I forget that time has moved on quickly.
 
and "just the other day" was four years ago.
 
There are days I long for those "four years ago" when we'd rock and snuggle and when I'd sit and stare at your precious little face.
 
But then, I'm reminded that so much of you was unknown then, so much was hidden. So much joy was yet to be discovered. And when I long to go back, I reminded now of what I'd be missing.
 
I'd be missing your wild, crazy hair do's every morning that always make me wonder what goes on in that bed each night.
 
I'd miss those insanely crazy "getting out of the bathtub dances" that I would love to share with the world but because of the birthday suit must pass on.
 
I'd miss "you're beautiful, Mommy," comments.
 
I'd miss you coming to my bed and snuggling as closely as you can to me.
 
And those expressions, those very specific expressions you make, those weren't there years ago and those are like gold.
 
I wouldn't know that you're full of imagination, whether it's making bottles of soap come to life or playing with the dollhouse.
 
I'd miss watching you care for your baby dolls, tucking them in your doll bed at night.
 
I'd miss hearing you say, "well, that was unexpected."
 
I'd miss hearing you pray.
 
I'd miss hearing you laugh.
 
I'd miss seeing you build friendships with Hannah and Grant.
 
And in the midst of all that, there's lots of messes too that'd I'd miss. Lots of discipline.

Lots.
 
Lots of tears, boo boos, and hurt feelings.
 
Lots of me wondering if I'm doing any of this right as I try to keep up with you, my busiest of bees.
 
I'd miss all of that too. But there's richness in that as well because that's where we grow.
 
WE grow
 
by God's grace
 
So when I find myself reminiscing about "just the other day" I can take joy in it but I also can delight in the "today" that is so much fuller and richer than "just the other day"
because there is so much more of you.
 
Happy Fourth Birthday Dear Kate.
 
We.Love.You.
 
And we look forward to more of you.