Motherhood

Motherhood.

I started this little blog to chronicle motherhood,

its messiness, its beauty, its sadness, its pain, its joy.

all of it.

Last night as I peeked into the kids' rooms before going to bed, I felt unworthy to be celebrated as a mom, or at least in such a way that elevates me to a super hero status.

Do people know how I screamed at my kids the other day? Do they see my heart when I grumble about making another meal for my children? Did they see my lack of compassion when ANOTHER tear fell from my child's cheek? Or the way I rushed through bedtime so I could FINALLY have alone time?


Motherhood is hard. It is for me. And, not so glorious as all those commercials make it out to be. It has been an unraveling of myself in many ways. 

Motherhood does demand selflessness, sacrifice, service, compassion, love, patience, faithfulness, perseverance, self control, and more.

But, eight and a half years has exposed my deficiency in these areas. It's exposed my inability to faithfully execute consistently these qualities. I've found myself frustrated and defeated.

There's been an unraveling.

An unraveling that has exposed my great need for help. 

When my daughter struggles with another math problem and my patience is thin...help. 

When two of my kids are arguing again before breakfast is even served and I haven't a clue how to resolve it nor do I have the energy to try...help.

Or when my son wants to play a game with me and I have no desire to spend time with him...help.

Or my sick daughter needs attending to again and my compassion is waning...help.


I need help.

And there's Good News...

Thankfully, my cries for help do not go unattended. My Helper is ever present and ever willing to equip me for this high calling of motherhood. Where I am deficient, my Lord is not. 

He is "an ever present help in times of trouble," and "will meet all {my} needs according to His glorious riches in Christ Jesus."

He is there to help me. He is there to manifest what I cannot, apart from Him. Just as he provided for my own salvation "how will He not also with Him graciously give us all things?"

James 1:17 says, "Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above,coming down from the Father of lights with whom there is no variation or shadow due to change." 

So, I am not left defeated and frustrated or unequipped. By His grace, He gives me those beautiful qualities that are manifest in my life: patience, service, love, faithfulness, sacrifice...those aren't of my doing...they are a gift from the Lord. It's a small snippet of Him and a small taste of His inexhaustible goodness. So that I can say with Paul, 'Let the one who boasts, boast in the Lord.'

So, as I think of motherhood tonight, may I boast in what Christ has done in me and through me as I flesh out this calling. And may I not crumble in defeat or boast in myself, but may I rest in Christ who is my all in everything, including motherhood. 

 And Thank you Lord for these three really good gifts...