Tuesday, September 03, 2013

You Can't Make This Stuff Up

Here I sit. It's 1:03 am. I'm in the spare bedroom with Kate, Hannah, and our dog, Molly. We are also accompanied with three changes of clothes, a plethora of "Tuff Stuff," red Gatorade and new stains on the carpet and Futon as well as a grocery sack full of paper towels and tissues.

I crawled into bed about an hour and half ago and yet, here I sit.

As soon as I tucked myself in for a restful sleep, Kate began hacking up a terrible storm. I'll spare you the details but it was alarming and, well, gross. And having Hannah sharing a room with Kate, I thought it best to move this show down to the only "quiet" room in the house, the spare room downstairs.

Except, Molly stays there.

So in the midst of major coughing, dry heaving, crying and gross stuff I manage to move Molly and her crate to the den.

Tissues and paper towels abound as I try to...well...help with the coughing.

Moments later the door opens and Hannah joins the party. "Afraid" to sleep alone, she suddenly becomes my greatest asset as the storm thickens.

Molly begins to cry. And what I was trying to spare the rest of the house from enduring with the loud coughs of Kate was being thwarted by a very noisy dog. Mind you, our house is VERY open with little reprieve from noise, except, of course, in the spare bedroom.


Hannah retrieves Molly and presto, another observer to this little chaotic mess.

That gets messier as Kate begins to vomit. All over me and all over her.

Hannah then makes a mad dash to get new clothes for Kate while I wipe her down and ward Molly off from doing what dogs do.

In the next several, several minutes Kate vomits more, I change her again thanks to a second run by Hannah for more clothes and I proceed to douse the room in Tuff Stuff stain remover in hopes to erase any long lasting memories of this night.

Except there's one that likely won't be erased as Molly jumped up on the dresser where Kate's RED Gatorade was sitting and dumped it all over the floor. Tuff Stuff, round three.

I'm left with two girls who don't want to leave my side and thus I pull out the Futon for a restful place to lay. In so doing I unintentionally reveal my hiding place for Christmas presents to which Hannah's mouth drops wide open.

And here we sit. Praying this is the calm AFTER the storm and for a few hours of shut eye before a new day begins. And so I bid you adieu as I crawl back into bed but this time with two girls, a dog, and the smell of Tough Stuff permeating the room.

You just can't make this stuff up.

P.S. to credit John, I intentionally did not wake him because if one of us can sleep then he might as well since he's got to get up early and do hard labor. And I unexpectedly got Hannah out of the deal who proved to be quite the enthusiastic helper since it meant being awake at midnight!