Wednesday, January 02, 2013

My Deepest Apologies

Mommy told me I needed to apologize.

For a few things.


I must apologize for calling you, "boobs." I know, you're laughing right? Because it's funny. But, alas, I must apologize because to many I think it must be offensive. I'm sure it's so not politically correct either. But hey, I said it once and Hannah and Grant laughed. So did Mommy and Daddy. So, like any good comedian, when you've managed to make a good joke, you use it again and again.

But, like every good thing, it must come to an end. And so here, I must bid it adieu.


If I've ever managed to lick you, I apologize. As stated in my previous apology, this too proved to be valuable material to work with, meaning, it created laughs, lots of them.

But, someone always gets hurt. And so, I apologize if it has ever offended you or just, you know, grossed you out. I will try my best to hold in my, tongue.


While I use "chubby" as a term of endearment, most of the world apparently does not. So, if I've grabbed your cheeks and rocked your face from side to side while saying "chubby," and you were at great offense to that, I apologize. Or if I said, "you chunky," in a husky voice, I apologize. Mommy taught me that. And we laughed and laughed. But now, she is making me apologize. Apparently I crossed the line somewhere. I'm not sure where.


If you've seen me pantless, I apologize. Honestly, pants hinder my high heels, my princess high heels. I trip on them. So, the logical thing to do is to rid myself of the endangerment. Thus, I forego the pants. Saftey first, right? But, as usual, pantless outfits doesn't go real well in the outside world. So, if I offended you, I apologize. I was just trying to get my Tina Turner on.

And finally,

If you are a part of PETA, and found my dog handling skills, well, not up to par, I apologize. Please, please, don't take away my Molly. I'm the closest thing she has to a mom. She needs me. Like with every new mom, cut me some slack. This is all so very new to me.

And with that, I believe I'm done, though I'm sure to be back with more apologies per Mommy's request. Until then, just realize, I'm two and have two older siblings who strong arm me into doing and saying most things, so any beef you have with me, take it up with them.


Mary said...

Don't apologize, Kate (well, I guess you should if your mommy said to...) I didn't even know what I was missing, and now I am feeling a little sad that you have not licked me OR called me chubby. I am chubby, and chunky. (That's from Madagascar right? We love that part, too). You & I need to get together more, we'd get along great!