Friday, March 29, 2013

Life is Hard

Life has been hard lately.

I'm not gonna lie.

And I hope I caught Mommy's attention. I hope she's sorry for all those rants she's thrown my way, especially after her critically acclaimed post, "Molly and Me."

She is. A broken pelvis and a gimpy tail and she's wrapped around my paw.

She feeds me my meds wrapped in cheese (sometimes a marshmallow).

She changes my sheets.

She oh so carefully transports me from my crate to the couch to the outdoors to pee (and poop).

She caresses my ears and my head.

She covers me up when my body shakes uncontrollably.

She takes my crate outside so I can take in the fresh air.

Her words are like honey to my floppy beagle ears.

So, that part is nice. I just didn't realize it would require intense pain that immobilized me to win her over.

I advise any dog out there to never, EVER, follow the lead of a 2 year old. I never, EVER should have taken the freedom Kate sent my way on that fateful Friday morning when she took my leash off of my post.

While that short lived freedom was GLORIOUS as I raced freely through the neighborhood without a care in the world, it left me bed ridden and humiliated with a lamp shade as my new crowing glory.

If you want to shame a dog, put a cone on it.
(oh, oh, oh....)

Try finding a nice place to rest with that monstrosity. Or try having a serious conversation with someone. It ain't gonna happen.

And my tail, it itches. Do you know how bad it is to want to scratch and YOU CAN'T.

So, life is hard. My athletic prowess is waning by the minute as I turn into a couch potato. What dog as seen Because of Winn Dixie (TWICE) and What to Expect When You're Expecting? This is what my life has come to.

Cheese balls laden with meds. Movies. Cones (Elizabethian Cones as they are called). A life behind bars.

This is my life.

Please join Grant in "praying all the time that God would heal me," because, well,

"ain't nobody got time for this."