Saturday, February 22, 2014

Moms' Olympics

If moms had their own Olympics, the events might look something like this:
Grocery Bag Grab: The winner is the quickest to unload the grocery bags from the back of the car to the kitchen counter. Extra points awarded for the number of bags taken in one trip.
Chaos to Clean: The winner is the quickest mom to put a chaotic house in order by the sound of the alarm, the doorbell, that signifies the arrival of unexpected guests.  Extra points awarded for no dust, no crumbs, and clean floors.
Shower Showdown: The winner is the mom who takes a complete shower before the alarm (screaming kids) sounds. Extra points awarded for shaved legs.
Grocery Store Grab: Moms in this event will need to locate all items off their list, save as much money as possible, while being accompanied by kids. Judges will also be looking at the mom's composure during the trip. Points will also be awarded for time and amount of money saved. Extra points awarded for using coupons, as well as the number of kids accompanying her on the trip.
Meal Mania: In this event moms will be required to make a nutritious meal under thirty minutes while being circled by three hungry children. Points awarded for speed, nutrition value of food, taste, and composure. Extra points awarded for kids' approval and clean plates.
Bathing Beauties: In this event, moms will be timed at how quickly and thoroughly their kids are bathed. Points will be awarded for time, cleanliness of kids, amount of bath water on the floor, and composure. Extra points will be awarded for children who bathe themselves.
Brushing Blues: This event includes only moms of girls. In this event the mom who combs through a tangled head with the least amount of tears shed from her daughter, wins. Cups will be available to catch the tears and measured at the end of the competition. Extra points are awarded for including a specific style, i.e. pony tail, pig tails, braids, etc. after detangling the bedhead.
Laundry Languish: The marathon of the Mom Olympics, this event is ongoing and must be done while also competing in the above events. Moms are required to complete 7 loads of laundry. Each load must be washed, dried, folded, and hung/put away in the correct location. Points are awarded for the time it takes to complete all seven loads. Extra points are awarded for ironing, fresh scents, tidiness, and child participation.
Out of this House: This event focuses on composure and time. Moms are required to get  kids ready and out the door in the quickest amount of time with the least amount of yelling and frustration. Kids are required to leave the house with shoes on, book bags packed and on backs, and lunches in hand, all under 8 minutes. Extra points are awarded for kids who are smiling, and shoes that are tied vs. Velcro or slip ons, and the number of kids who are involved. Points are deducted  for running over time and yelling.
The games will conclude with a closing ceremony recognizing our top three moms.
No gold medals needed, the winning mom gets three nights alone in a location of her choice, with the drink of her choice, doing absolutely nothing.
Silver medal moms get two nights of the above.
Bronze, one night of the above.
Let the games begin!


Jeannie said...

You are so creative Jess, You need to contact all local TV stations and get started.

Redheaded Adventures said...

Love it! You'd be on the podium!!

I think I would be the Jamaican bobsled team of the Mom Olympics - a few fans but no where even close.

Let's add extra points if you have a welcoming enough house to have unexpected guests - a warm but not always perfect home is always open to friends and neighbors - that yours is.