Tuesday, November 10, 2009

Mommy's Moment: A Personal Note

This was supposed to be a "SURPRISE!" post. I had eagerly been waiting to tell the world of our news, a third baby arriving in July. However, as of Saturday, that news would no longer be a reality. This little baby went to be with the Lord. I hesitated to blog about it. Is it appropriate? Is it necessary? But I think it is. For two reasons. One, by blogging about it it helps me to process and think through what has transpired. But, more importantly, regardless of what little time this child had with us, he/she was our child and a part of our family. He/She brought us great joy during those two weeks as we eagerly talked about his/her arrival. Hannah already was giving him/her names...her favorite being Lauren. So, I can't not share this joy and not let this little life be a part of our family. I think he/she deserves a spotlight on this blog. Regardless of how short of a time he/she had with us, she was a life that the Lord created and for some unknown reason, He chose to allow this child to be with Him so early.

Every Monday I teach 6 homeschooled children. Each week we memorize a new verse. As I was preparing the material for the sub on Sunday, this week's verse struck a cord with me. It says, "Give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus." 1 Thessalonians 5:18. What an appropriate verse for me to meditate on during this season. And as I pondered that I realized I can give thanks. Through this sadness, the Lord has revealed His love, compassion, tenderness, and care to me through my family and friends. I can give thanks to the Lord for each one of you who has shown me His love. I can give thanks that, although I have experienced one painful miscarriage, I have experienced two wonderful births and get to experience these two lives daily at home. That is a blessing. I can also give thanks that the Lord is in control. This didn't happen by surprise to Him. He knew it would happen. He allowed it to happen. And I know that He "works all things together for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose." Will I ever know why this happened? Probably not. But I can trust in the One who allowed it to happen and who knows what is best for me, even if it's difficult and painful.

So this post belongs to baby number three. Though it will be your only post, we won't forget you. And if I had to bring words to this child's mouth I think he/she would say, "Don't worry about me! I'm in a far better place than you are. I am celebrating with the King of Kings. You don't know what you're missing out on!"

7 comments:

Gormangirl said...

Oh Jess- I'm so sorry for both you and your family! I will be keeping you all in my prayers!

Erin said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Erin said...

Jess,
Thank you for sharing your heart. Your Scriptures are encouraging to me on my journey to build my family. I'm praying for you.

LB said...

hey Jessica, I enjoyed reading this tribute to your little baby. It brought tears to my eyes. I continue to pray for peace and rest for you!!

Sarah and Phil said...

I'm so sorry for your loss, my friend, but I am so encouraged by your faith. ALL of your children are so lucky to have you and John as parents.

Groovers said...

Jess...I'm so very sorry! Tears well up in my eyes over your loss and your sweet words that testify to the goodness of our Lord. Thank you for sharing and for showing me Christ in your suffering. We love you!!

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