Sunday, February 20, 2011

Potty Training Tips

Take it from me, potty training is tough work. And it seems that we toddlers (if I can still be labeled as a toddler since I am quickly creeping up on three) have no go-to guy of our own. Sure, our "well informed" parents seem to know it all when it comes to this. But, let's face it...they were potty trained YEARS ago. What do they know? So I, Grant, have come up with some tips for those of you out there who will soon be forced into potty training. Use these tips to help make your experience worth it.
1) Milk the treats. Most parents like to give treats at first for going on the potty. Score. Use this to your fullest advantage. Even if you just went successfully, wait a few minutes and express your need to go again (especially if the treat is super good). Squeeze out a few drops. Chances are your parent is so worried you'll digress without it that they will give in and yes, reward you with ANOTHER treat. I've had more M and M's and mints over the past two weeks than I've had in MY LIFE. Unfortunately Mommy finally caught on.
2) Have a few accidents. Why? Sure, you don't get more candy BUT you DO get to try on another of your favorite new under-roos! So, if you're bored with Lightening McQueen, pee in them. Chances are you'll get to wear your favorite Thomas pair!
3)Seek forgiveness. When those accidents do occur, put on your best "I'm really sorry Mommy face" and back it up with "Mommy, I won't do that to-morrow." Chances are this will spare you from any stern warnings and instead, provide you with a nice warm hug. Again, warning here that this too will wear out its welcome after used for the course of a week.
4)Play helpless. For those of you starved for attention thanks to multiple siblings this ensures some one on one time with mommy. Sure you may be able to pull your pants down on your own or aim successfully into the potty but where's the love? Don't let on to ANYONE you know how to do these things or the cat's out of the bag. I made this mistake and now, Mommy is playing some hardball.
Four helpful tips. It's nothing any potty training video will tell you I can gurantee that. And, let's be honest, a potty dance? Really? You think THAT'S gonna make it work? Stick to my plan and you'll be cruising through potty training with a big smile.


LB said...

Love it!! I'll pass this on to John in a year or two:)