Thursday, October 02, 2008

Double Trouble

It seems Hannah is a little concerned about my weight. She says she's been there. So, she wants to help pork me up. Then, she says, I can resume my position as VP of the Chub Club. She took it upon herself to feed me chips and some tea. However, she wasn't quite paying attention when she gave me my tea. Lucky for me, it was all pretend. Otherwise, I would have had to change my clothes AGAIN. I go through a lot of clothes thanks to my spit up, drool, and occassional knock out poops. I don't need spilled tea to be added to my list of reasons of why I wear so many different outfits in a day. Believe me guys, I'm NOT that concerned about my looks, it's just that I'm a messy fellow. I don't think Hannah's diet will work though. I don't have teeth for one and two, even if I did have teeth, I can't and shouldn't eat plastic. But while her efforts failed I still must champion her on her big heart. She loves me and for that I'm thankful.

On a different note, today was both my and Hannah's checkups. Oh boy. I'll give you a quick play by play.

*We breeze in right on time. Hannah is happy. Grant is happy.
*We go to our room where two nice nurses were waiting for us.
*Hannah plays with the toys while Mommy strips me naked...well with my diaper still on of course...I can't show my goods.
*They take me away to weigh me.
*Mommy strips Hannah down to her diaper as well. Hannah runs around saying "I nay-nay I nay-nay." She means she's naked.
*They bring me back. I weigh 13 pounds 9 ounces. I'm in the 14%. They're pleased with that. Phew.
*They measure me. Meanwhile Hannah is playing with the toys while excited about being nay-nay. This could be a problem several years down the road. I measure in at 26 inches.
*Hannah is whisked away to be weighed.
*She returns (with a sticker in hand), still happy and weighing in at a whopping 22 pounds. Folks, this is the BIG NEWS. Hannah has now reached the 2nd percentile for her weight. She has moved from the 0% to the 2%. She is a PORKER.
*Mommy holds me while Hannah gets measured. She is 34 1/2 inches long. And get this...she is in the 65% for height. Hannah has risen above the average! Wow. I'm so proud.
*We're both still happy.
*Mommy holds me while Hannah plays and we wait for the doctor.
*The doc comes in. Hannah says hi.
*The doc checks me out. I let out a few whimpers but I must brag...I really was a good boy.
*Next, it's Hannah's turn. This folks, is the turning point.
*Hannah SCREAMS when the doctor tries to look at her.
*Mommy is holding me, spit up and drool drenching her shirt, squatting on the ground trying to pry the hands grasped tightly around her back off of her so Hannah can get close enough for the doctor to check her.
*Mommy and Hannah put up a good fight that lasts for a few minutes until Mommy finally wins.
*The doctor listens to her heart while Hannah screams and screams and screams.
*She calms down for a few minutes while he finishes checking her.
*Then, comes the band-aide. Notice, I'm not making a big deal about the finger prick that proceeded the band-aide. No, she handled that rather well. It's the band-aide that sent her over the edge. She screamed for it to come off. She yanked at it. She cried. She clung to Mommy in the hopes that Mommy would rescue her. She yelled out, "No, I don't like it. Take it off!" However, we know the disaster that would have ensued if we gave in to her antics. Blood would have gushed everywhere. We could not take that risk.
*While Hannah continued to scream over her band-aide I was suddenly suprised by three awful pricks to my leg. I screamed and screamed.
So yes, we had to have been the loudest room in that office between my shrills and Hannah's screaming over the band-aide.
*Mommy wasted no time to console. She quickly dressed me as I desperately tried to put my thumb in my mouth.
*I was then placed in my carseat...a safe haven at the time...oh the irony in that.
*Mommy threw Hannah's clothes on while she continued to complain about the band-aid.
*But then, finally, a hush fell over the scene. I was quiet. Hannah seemed to forget all of a sudden about her band-aid.
We all took a deep breath. And walked out the door.


Groovers said...

oh my, I love your descriptions!